The Before and Afters

Many people know them – the Before and Afters.
 
And in between the Before and After is a moment, an event, an experience, that becomes a powerful, invisible dividing line in a lifespan. The Before and After is noticeable in conversations, a concrete being all its own. “Well, before I…” “After the….”
 
Before and Afters can be for the better or for the painful worse.

• The loss of a loved one or a relationship
• An acceptance of faith or a door closed to belief
• The joy of a birth
• A traumatic singular event
• A diagnosis
• An unexpected incredible opportunity
• A physical relocation

Every life is offered significant moments. But not all are so powerfully evident that they drop an anchor right where they appeared that will never resurface. The mark is indelible.
 
Completing ketamine therapy is at the top of my short list of lifetime Before and Afters. I cannot unknow what it taught me. I cannot unbelieve what it made me believe. Finally.
 
This is not because ketamine therapy was a singular cure that solved my conflicts, changed my circumstances, or erased a mixed bag of incessant anguish. It was not. I still struggle at times with a type of sadness that I know does not show up in others; my brain still returns to misguided thoughts.
 
But Before ketamine therapy I could not see my way to the other side. After ketamine therapy, I can remember that the other side exists and developed tools to make my way back.  I will take this as a victory in my Before and Afters.